One of the things I've found myself getting constantly defensive over since Ethan arrived is the fact that I feed him formula instead of breast milk. So many women have asked me why I would choose to do that. "Don't you know breast milk is SO much better". Why yes, I do know that. The problem is I didn't get a choice in the matter.
Ethan came 3 weeks early and weighed all of 5 pounds when we left he hospital. I breast fed him exclusively in the hospital, and all the nurses praised him on how well he latched and sucked. I was ecstatic that I was doing it right and I had this opportunity to bond with my child that no one else could have. Then we got him home.
For the first two days he did nothing but cry. I knew something was wrong. He spent hours at my breast my I could hear his tummy rumbling. I had this nagging feeling that he wasn't getting anything from me, like I was starving my child. Ethan wasn't thriving inside of me and now he wasn't thriving outside of me. Talk about getting a complex.
We took Ethan to the pediatrician for his first visit and he spent the entire time in the waiting room wailing. Once we were able to see the doctor the first thing he said to us was that he heard Ethan in the waiting room and knew what was wrong.
He's hungry.
Ethan had dropped to 4 pounds 12 ounces and was dangerously close to having to be readmitted to the hospital. Then the doctor the told me something I will never forget.
It doesn't matter what he eats...as long as he eats!
He then proceeded to give Ethan a supplement which he sucked down like he had never been fed before in his life. He was instantly better and I felt this wash of relief come over me. My poor child had been so hungry for days and I was too caught up in the idea that my breast was what was best that he was starving. So many women had guilted me into thinking that giving him anything other than my breast would doom him for life.
I really feel like society puts so much pressure on women to breastfeed and shames women who don't. Mothers (and non mothers alike) are so quick to judge that they don't take the time to think that maybe what the mother is doing is in the best interest of the child. It is beyond frustrating.
In the end I just have to tell myself that I did what was best for my child and that is good enough for me!
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Ethan loves bath time!
Last night after dinner we decided to give Ethan a bath with the hope that it would help him sleep better throughout the night. Luckily Andrianna was there with her camera to capture the moment! Ethan sure does love bath time!
**Pictures courtesy of Andrianna Photography.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Ethan's first visit to the Dallas Zoo 6.14.14
Had to eat before we started walking around!
Daddy showing Ethan a creek
Showing Ethan the penguins!
I love the look on his face in this picture...like seriously dad what are you doing?
Giraffe exhibit!
**Pictures courtesy of Andrianna Photography
10 things I've learned in the short time I've been a parent
10. You will never stop buying things for your baby.
Whether it's diapers, wipes, clothes, formula, bottles...you will be on amazon every day ordering something new. You will discover products you never knew existed and then quickly question how you ever lived life without it. It doesn't help when your baby out grows everything in 5 minutes either. All of a sudden you only have 4 outfits that fit him (which he will alternate through every day) and those level 1 nipples for his bottles are giving him gas.
9. You and your spouse will become tag team champions.
The only way you can survive a newborn is by creating routines with your spouse. The sleep schedule is the most important of these, even if it's only an hour. You will learn to take advantage of any time you get off from your baby.
8. The house work is never done.
You will never do as much laundry in your life as you will with a newborn. You will pride yourself when you can stay ahead, but more than likely you'll run out of burp clothes, receiving blankets, and clean clothes at some point.
7. Leaving the house is impossible.
Before you go anywhere you must make sure your baby is satisfied enough to get through whatever errand you're about to run. Change him, feed him, burp him, dress him, put him in his car seat, check inventory in the diaper bag, load everything in the car. Those errands that use to take 5 minutes all of a sudden take a minimum of 30 minutes.
6. If you do leave the house you must be prepared for any situation.
Before you leave the house you will find yourself going through a check list of everything you have in the diaper bag and if you don't you will quickly regret not packing that extra outfit while you're changing a poop explosion in the bathroom of that restaurant you wanted to go to.
5. You will be judged for everything you do.
The second you become a parent everything you do is wrong. Everyone has their opinion and most will line up around the block to tell you why what you're doing is wrong based on some study their mom's, aunt's, next door neighbor read. While one person preaches one method, someone else will claim the exact opposite is the only way to go.
4. Family and friends will be at your house every day.
Personal space is a thing of the past. People will tell you to tell your family and friends when you are not accepting company, but be prepared for people to guilt you into letting them come see the baby (even when it's your second day in the hospital after delivery while he is cluster feeding and you're having issues breastfeeding...yes, that actually happened).
3. Figuring out why your baby is crying is a process of elimination.
Is he wet? Is he hungry? Is he gassy? Is he hot, cold, bored?? Once he stops crying you will rejoice that you finally solved the puzzle.
2. It is truly shocking how many diapers you will go through.
I always knew that we would go through a lot of diapers...but good lord...I never imagined we would go through a case within the first week.
1. You will be amazed how little sleep you can actually live off of.
At 5 am after not sleeping for 48 hours straight you will understand why some women go crazy. Sleep is a precious commodity that you no longer have. You will be willing to hand over your baby to just about anyone for 30 minutes of shut eye.
Whether it's diapers, wipes, clothes, formula, bottles...you will be on amazon every day ordering something new. You will discover products you never knew existed and then quickly question how you ever lived life without it. It doesn't help when your baby out grows everything in 5 minutes either. All of a sudden you only have 4 outfits that fit him (which he will alternate through every day) and those level 1 nipples for his bottles are giving him gas.
9. You and your spouse will become tag team champions.
The only way you can survive a newborn is by creating routines with your spouse. The sleep schedule is the most important of these, even if it's only an hour. You will learn to take advantage of any time you get off from your baby.
8. The house work is never done.
You will never do as much laundry in your life as you will with a newborn. You will pride yourself when you can stay ahead, but more than likely you'll run out of burp clothes, receiving blankets, and clean clothes at some point.
7. Leaving the house is impossible.
Before you go anywhere you must make sure your baby is satisfied enough to get through whatever errand you're about to run. Change him, feed him, burp him, dress him, put him in his car seat, check inventory in the diaper bag, load everything in the car. Those errands that use to take 5 minutes all of a sudden take a minimum of 30 minutes.
6. If you do leave the house you must be prepared for any situation.
Before you leave the house you will find yourself going through a check list of everything you have in the diaper bag and if you don't you will quickly regret not packing that extra outfit while you're changing a poop explosion in the bathroom of that restaurant you wanted to go to.
5. You will be judged for everything you do.
The second you become a parent everything you do is wrong. Everyone has their opinion and most will line up around the block to tell you why what you're doing is wrong based on some study their mom's, aunt's, next door neighbor read. While one person preaches one method, someone else will claim the exact opposite is the only way to go.
4. Family and friends will be at your house every day.
Personal space is a thing of the past. People will tell you to tell your family and friends when you are not accepting company, but be prepared for people to guilt you into letting them come see the baby (even when it's your second day in the hospital after delivery while he is cluster feeding and you're having issues breastfeeding...yes, that actually happened).
3. Figuring out why your baby is crying is a process of elimination.
Is he wet? Is he hungry? Is he gassy? Is he hot, cold, bored?? Once he stops crying you will rejoice that you finally solved the puzzle.
2. It is truly shocking how many diapers you will go through.
I always knew that we would go through a lot of diapers...but good lord...I never imagined we would go through a case within the first week.
1. You will be amazed how little sleep you can actually live off of.
At 5 am after not sleeping for 48 hours straight you will understand why some women go crazy. Sleep is a precious commodity that you no longer have. You will be willing to hand over your baby to just about anyone for 30 minutes of shut eye.
Monday, June 16, 2014
Ethan Neie's Birth Story
I was dedicated to maintaining Ethan's due date countdown on my white board at work. Every Friday I would diligently change the number of remaining weeks until he was to arrive. 5 more weeks...4 more weeks...3 more weeks...2 days?
Something had gone wrong, and whether I was ready or not, Ethan needed to come to us much earlier than we had anticipated.
At 34 weeks my placenta had become "old" meaning it was no longer delivering the nutrients Ethan needed to grow and thrive in my womb. The doctors were clear...It was time for him to come out. Brandon and I spent countless afternoons in the office of perinatologists monitoring his progress and I was sent to labor and delivery twice at Denton Regional Hospital, once under the threat of my doctor that she would induce me immediately if she saw anything wrong. They constantly weighed the options of taking him too early versus waiting it out until 38 weeks. I left their offices crying, more than once, ready to get off the roller coaster that had become this nightmare situation.
At 37 weeks it was made perfectly clear that Ethan's risk of still birth was too high for them to ignore and they wanted to induce in 2 days.
I had just finished changing my calendar to 3 more weeks.
It became immediately clear that I would never experience the drama of having my water break on its own, or the surprise of contractions. I would never have that "it's time to go to the hospital" conversation with Brandon, and we would never rush to the car to go to the hospital. My fantasy of what child birth would be like was replaced by an induction date.
But it didn't matter. Our baby needed to come out, and that's what we were going to do.
Brandon drove me to Denton Regional Hospital on May 17th to check in and get my body ready to have our baby. They started my pitocin drip at 10:30 on May 18th and we were off to the races! The whole family drove up to watch the show. Lord knows my family can't do anything without everyone being there...Ethan's birth would certainly be no exception to this.
My contractions started almost immediately, but were very light and tolerable. I was able to chat with everyone without much issue. The nurses came in and out constantly moving the monitors around on my belly to listen to his heart beat. Unfortunately, due to the pitocin, my contractions started coming back to back. Without time to rest in between I felt like I was dying. Dr. Reddy decided once I was dilated to a 4 it was time to break my water to speed up the labor process. All my life I've heard about a woman's water breaking, but I never realized how much fluid actually came out. I swear I dropped 5 pounds right then and there and then the real pain started. Not too long after that I asked for the epidural. Brandon stayed by my side through all of it holding my hand and helping me breathe.
After the epidural...life was good. I couldn't feel anything and quickly asked myself why I hadn't requested it sooner. Before I knew it I was dilated to an 8 and then it was time to start pushing.
Exhaustion doesn't begin to explain what it's like to push a child out of your body. Brandon held my right leg, mother held my left leg, and I bared down within an inch of my life.
After about 30 minutes of pushing we found out Ethan was stuck on my pelvic bone. The pushing was so intense they had to give me oxygen between contractions.
After 2 hours of pushing Ethan arrived at 12:23am Monday May 19th.
It was incredible. As soon as Ethan was out they put him on my chest. I told him I was his mommy and he stopped crying almost instantly. He looked up at me like he recognized my voice immediately. I held him for what seemed like a second before they took him away to clean him up.
Ethan decided for the first hour after being born that he only wanted to open one eye, so his father and I so lovingly called him pirate baby.
Something had gone wrong, and whether I was ready or not, Ethan needed to come to us much earlier than we had anticipated.
At 34 weeks my placenta had become "old" meaning it was no longer delivering the nutrients Ethan needed to grow and thrive in my womb. The doctors were clear...It was time for him to come out. Brandon and I spent countless afternoons in the office of perinatologists monitoring his progress and I was sent to labor and delivery twice at Denton Regional Hospital, once under the threat of my doctor that she would induce me immediately if she saw anything wrong. They constantly weighed the options of taking him too early versus waiting it out until 38 weeks. I left their offices crying, more than once, ready to get off the roller coaster that had become this nightmare situation.
At 37 weeks it was made perfectly clear that Ethan's risk of still birth was too high for them to ignore and they wanted to induce in 2 days.
I had just finished changing my calendar to 3 more weeks.
It became immediately clear that I would never experience the drama of having my water break on its own, or the surprise of contractions. I would never have that "it's time to go to the hospital" conversation with Brandon, and we would never rush to the car to go to the hospital. My fantasy of what child birth would be like was replaced by an induction date.
But it didn't matter. Our baby needed to come out, and that's what we were going to do.
Brandon drove me to Denton Regional Hospital on May 17th to check in and get my body ready to have our baby. They started my pitocin drip at 10:30 on May 18th and we were off to the races! The whole family drove up to watch the show. Lord knows my family can't do anything without everyone being there...Ethan's birth would certainly be no exception to this.
My contractions started almost immediately, but were very light and tolerable. I was able to chat with everyone without much issue. The nurses came in and out constantly moving the monitors around on my belly to listen to his heart beat. Unfortunately, due to the pitocin, my contractions started coming back to back. Without time to rest in between I felt like I was dying. Dr. Reddy decided once I was dilated to a 4 it was time to break my water to speed up the labor process. All my life I've heard about a woman's water breaking, but I never realized how much fluid actually came out. I swear I dropped 5 pounds right then and there and then the real pain started. Not too long after that I asked for the epidural. Brandon stayed by my side through all of it holding my hand and helping me breathe.
Exhaustion doesn't begin to explain what it's like to push a child out of your body. Brandon held my right leg, mother held my left leg, and I bared down within an inch of my life.
After about 30 minutes of pushing we found out Ethan was stuck on my pelvic bone. The pushing was so intense they had to give me oxygen between contractions.
After 2 hours of pushing Ethan arrived at 12:23am Monday May 19th.
It was incredible. As soon as Ethan was out they put him on my chest. I told him I was his mommy and he stopped crying almost instantly. He looked up at me like he recognized my voice immediately. I held him for what seemed like a second before they took him away to clean him up.
Ethan decided for the first hour after being born that he only wanted to open one eye, so his father and I so lovingly called him pirate baby.
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